3 Ways to Come Home to Your True Identity

You can choose to learn or you can be forced to. As human beings, our power lies in the ability to choose.

This week I caught up with Jake Kauffman, Executive Life Coach & Business Consultant to 7 & 8 figure purpose-driven entrepreneurs & CEOs and he was even a coach of mine back in the day. He supports other conscious entrepreneurs in expanding themselves personally so that they can exponentially grow professionally.

His unique approach to high-performance coaching can best be described as the intersection between personal development and business strategy and today we are diving into the topic of identity. 

We want to ask you the question…

Are you being your truest self?

Your identity has been shifted and molded over the course of your lifetime. We have shifted from our childhood to adulthood and with that came work, social expectations, and changing ourselves to make sure we can get by as easily as possible.

Living in a world where we try anything and everything to avoid conflict, confrontation, and letting others down, we avoid pain at all costs. Between things like medications and an unlimited supply of distractions, we have developed a low tolerance for pain and discomfort. We have learned that it’s better to avoid it than to sit with emotions. 

But what happens when we avoid pain?

We start to develop a new persona. And the only way to reconnect with our true identity is to finally sit with the discomfort. Suffering is necessary to wake us up to the reality that we are living in an admired persona-not who we really are.

Weakness is the way. 

Each and every one of us will face a life-changing event. It may be:

  • Disease
  • Divorce
  • Death

But these events take us to the furthest point of who we have become.

If you’re in a season where you’ve been blindsided by life- whether it be an accident, a breakup, or something unexpected- you’re in the fire right now for a reason.

You aren’t doing life wrong. This is part of your process and refinement.

In reality, we have to experience those things and the emotions attached to those things. That is the only way we can separate ourselves from this identity and return home to who we truly are. 

How do we disentangle who we think we are from who we actually are?

Identify why you built up your persona.

Your persona is built around some form of trauma. Your body or psyche went through an experience that it didn’t want to go through, so it built up this new identity so that it wouldn’t have to face this experience again. You have to confront the trauma that made you build the persona. Finding the right therapy program is an essential piece of this process.

Get a Guide.

In order to find that true identity, we need someone to help guide us. We have to work through the death of the old persona. Finding the right mentor is incredibly important to helping you through this deconstruction process. You will be separating yourself from this created identity so that you can transcend it and live up to your highest potential.


It’s essential. It’s our natural state. We don’t have to be taught how to play! No one has to encourage us as kids to go play, we just do it. We have to be taught how to work, but play always comes naturally. Play is a part of our divine blueprint and it’s important to imagine, create, and be free as often as possible.

Finding Your Truest Self is Possible

Glennon Doyle said, “Life isn’t hard because you’re doing it wrong, life is hard because you’re doing it right” and it’s so true. It’s not easy for us to detach from the story. So much of ourselves is programmed to think that if we don’t act like the person we’ve become, we will be rejected, unloved, abandoned, and alone. 

The truth is once we detach ourselves, we can begin living the life we are truly meant to live. 

You can listen to my most recent interview with Jake: Reconstructing Your Identify To Live A More Profound Life on The Coachable Podcast or watch the entire interview on our Youtube Channel. Please remember to leave a rating and a review wherever you listen to the show. Send us a screenshot of your review to support@torigordon.com to receive free access to my Find Your Purpose Workshop. I would also love to have you join us for a Monthly Breathwork session! This live breathwork class will teach you how to use breathwork to calm your nervous system, relieve stress, and release stored-trauma from the body. I can’t wait to see you there.

July 21, 2022


your true identity

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Whether you're tired of settling for "good enough", or feel like you're sitting on the sidelines of life watching it pass you by you are in the right place. It's time to get in the game, get your hands dirty, get uncomfortable and find out what you're really made of. 

High-Performance Coach, Podcast Host, Inspirational Speaker, Content Creator, and Breathwork Facilitator

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