People wait to be confident before they act. We want to feel good about ourselves before we actually get started—but that’s putting the cart before the horse.
It’s scary how Imposter Syndrome and self-sabotage can steal our dreams away. All the fears and insecurities hold us back in so many ways, preventing us from taking the next right action.
Lisa Bilyeu, the creator of Impact Theory and author of Radical Confidence, shares the “No BS” things you have to do to get out of the life that doesn’t serve you and into the life that brings you so much joy and makes your heart sing.
If you show up every day, become a learner, and do it anyway, you eventually get good. Imagine approaching the life of your dreams despite your inadequacies—that’s what radical confidence is.
DO: Day One
We all have a “Day One” when trying something new.
Nobody expects you to be an expert on the first day. You need time and practice. And you can’t do that if you’re constantly afraid to fail.
So how do we get that radical confidence and make that change?
Set a stepping stone by showing up every day. You have to do the uncomfortable so that you’ve actually had the practice when you get to it. It’s the practice that makes you competent. And it’s the competence that brings you confidence.
Listen to the negative voice in your head.
When we self-sabotage, we immediately think of how we can’t do it.
“What if I mess up?”
Our first reaction would be to ignore it and keep on going. But Lisa says otherwise. She tells us to listen to it because sometimes, it’s actually teaching us something.
When you acknowledge it, you allow it to become your coach and teach you what you’re worried about. That way, you can have a plan in order to mitigate it once it happens.
“You don’t know what you’re going to say”—prepare.
“What if I mess up?”—then actually have a backup solution.
Flip the script.
Where is your lack of confidence coming from?
Most of the time, our lack of confidence comes from our lack of clarity about what we want.
Confidence is having the ability to trust yourself. But you can’t trust yourself if you continue to live in self-denial. You’re only going to be confident if you’re living a life aligned with your truth. And to get there, you have to be willing to have difficult conversations with yourself.
Maybe that’s why we don’t get the clarity—so we don’t ask the hard questions.
We don’t actually not know what we want. We just don’t want to be held accountable or change.
Being clear about what you want sets a marker between where you are and where you’re headed. The space in between is just a repetition of continually showing up.
No BS—what would it take?
After being clear about what you want, ask yourself what it’s actually going to take to get there.
Are you willing to do it? Is it really the life that you want?
That’s the beauty of asking, “No BS—what would it take?” It gives you a perspective and the ability to make an empowered conscious decision about what you’re going to give your time and energy to, which you could never get back.
When we’re being clear about what we want, it’s easier to say no about things that aren’t going to help us get there.
Don’t quit on a bad day.
The first step to getting radical confidence is having a “WHY.”
When something comes up and ruins the plan, you will have that “why” to keep you showing up every day. You can save yourself from looking back at life and saying:
“Why on earth did I not make a change?”
“Why didn’t I ask for more?”
“Why did I let go of my hopes and dreams and literally just relied on others to bring me the excitement that I wanted?”
Don’t quit out of emotion. Do it from a place of clarity and assurance that you’re doing the right thing. But if it doesn’t align with who you are and what you want in life anymore, you can stop. You’re not a failure for doing so.
Radical confidence is not thinking you can do everything right. It’s just that you trust yourself to know that if you don’t get it right, you’re going to learn from it. You didn’t fail 10,000 times. You had 10,000 lessons, and nobody can take that from you.
To anyone brave enough to consider change, grab a copy of Lisa’s Radical Confidence now! You can also visit radconlive.com for free tickets to her event that aims to help you become radically confident in multiple areas of your life! Another great topic like this in next week’s Coachable episode!