How to Manage the 3 Types of Fear
What if nothing’s wrong? What if you’re precisely where you’re supposed to be? Fear holds us back from so many things. It steals much of our joy, time, and potential. It won’t hesitate to dictate your decisions and choices if you let it take the driver’s seat.
There is so much life that wants to be lived through you, but it’s on the other side of saying yes to the thing that scares you. The unknown is scary until you walk into it. Only then can you realize that magic and miracles are happening on that side, not just your fear.
Monica Berg, author of Fear Is Not An Option and co-founder of Spiritually Hungry podcast, shares that fear is something we are born with. It comes along for a ride throughout our lives. But it’s up to us to put it in its place.
Who am I?
We fear what we don’t know. So the first step to overcoming fear is to begin searching for your true self.
Are your parents proud of you?
Did you make your teacher happy?
Are you living your life for somebody else?
These are all external. It’s tricky because that’s how we grew up—we got our cues from external feedback. That’s how we learn if we’re successful or not. But if you keep on doing what people expect you to do, you’ll never have honest conversations with yourself.
We should challenge that model early on. If we start to understand that it is our responsibility to make sure our most profound influence should come internally, we could save many people money in therapy.
Do things outside of your comfort zone. Take time to hear what you desire, your calling, and what lights you up. By nature, we are seeking beings. And if you’re not seeking the right thing, you’re unfortunately seeking the wrong thing.
What if I’m not who I think I am?
We believe who we are based on what is being fed to us.
Where do you put the most weight in? Is it the need for people to notice and like you?
Our perception of who we are and what we’re worthy of is ingrained based on external feedback. But somehow, you come to a crossroads where you finally start to question that and detach from the stories you had been telling yourself.
“Is that really true?”
Is it true because you say it is or because you’ve agreed with someone else that it is true? You need to challenge what you’ve accepted as true because it’s often not your truth. You have the power to change that narrative.
Fear x Change
Change is the follow-up to fear. Nothing happens until you decide and follow it with immediate action. It must be immediate, or you’ll find another reason or excuse not to do it.
Before you can transform fear, you need to know whether it needs to be embraced or let go. Monica shares 3 types of fear that can either be essential or destructive.
Healthy fear is like it sounds. It’s set up for survival and protection. It’s there to keep us safe.
Don’t go too close to the cliff’s edge if you’re hiking.
Don’t put your hand too close to an open flame.
In healthy fear, intuition is rooted in terms of a gut feeling. You need to keep this kind.
Real fear is rooted in reality- death, illnesses, losing our loved ones, etc. This kind of fear can be transformed.
With the fear of losing loved ones, instead of ruminating about it as a negative thought, make sure that the time you’re spending with them is meaningful and filled with appreciation and gratitude. Use that fear to really be present and fully there for them.
Illogical fear paralyzes us and consumes most of our time. It makes our hearts stop beating and palms sweating— rejection, elevators, flying, cockroaches, etc.
This fear steals our most valuable possession—our potential. All the things we could do, become, share, and experience that we just couldn’t are caused by this strong, illogical fear that we take seriously.
It’s ironic how we lock our bikes to a rack, put our jewelry in a safe, or keep money in a bank, just so other people can’t take it, but let fear take so much of our joy and potential experiences.
This kind of fear can be overcome.
Fear of the Unknown
Every kind of fear is rooted in the unknown.
You do not know how much time you have in this world or how the day will evolve. This fear of the future gets ahead of us, and it can feel quite enormous.
Most people understand certainty to be security. But through her spiritual practice, Monica discovers that certainty is a connection to your source, the creator. It’s that level of knowing, belonging, and being sure that you are enough. It’s the confidence that even if things don’t turn out the way you desire, it’s always for the greatest good.
On the other side of it is the unknown is freedom. If you know that everything has its higher purpose, you can never really get upset about anything. There’s nothing ever “wrong.” It’s just a matter of shifting your perspective.
You have a choice.
We are spiritual beings meant to transform and evolve into a higher state of consciousness. Our souls go to the next stage of growth and elevation through death. This triggers the urgency of creating the life you want.
Fear never really goes away. You just learn how to manage it. And when it’s no longer an option, you’re going to look for other viable choices. So, in the end, it’s really just about retraining how you respond to what happens in your life. Make the best out of the situation presented to you.
Monica Berg tells you that you have a choice. You get to decide how to move forward through fear. Grab a copy of her wonderful creations at https://rethinklife.today/books/ and rethink how you can live your best life fearlessly. Catch us next week for another life-changing Coachable episode!