Have you ever looked in the mirror and realized you’d gotten off-track a little bit? It’s like becoming a stranger to yourself because the world made you change.
When did we lose that?
At what point in our life did we stop owning our truth?
The change happens so slowly that we don’t recognize it until the last minute. But we get to come back to ourselves. We get to decide to stop participating in a culture built to please and impress.
Jen Szpigiel, business and life coach and founder of Becoming Iconic, tells us how to maintain integrity as our core value. She shares that being honest with what you have become and knowing who you want to be will keep you on track.
We all want to work well with other people. But when you start trying to please them, you’re performing. You’re exaggerating your truth.
Some people think they need to be more than who they are, believing they are not impressive enough. So they follow precisely what “successful” people do, thinking it’s the easy way.
While it may be true that there is no original idea anymore, that whole of it is just a derivation of existing ones, and the point is to make it your own. You need to maintain integrity. It’s good to be inspired by others, but not to the end of duplicating their brand.
When you’re trying to be someone you’re not, you’re stealing that place from others. That spot is taken, and it’s for her.
Sometimes, you know what to do but can’t get yourself to do it because you’re constantly peeking around what everybody else is doing. That’s when you start to lose yourself.
Liberate yourself from that performative persona. Your truth and your story are your power.
You are worthy upon arrival.
Many people think that worth is built up from having high revenues, numerous clients, designer bags, or a happy family. They’ve never been more wrong.
Worth is not earned. It’s a God-given birthright.
You don’t have to prove anything. Just being here at this moment is enough. When you realize and accept that, you step into your personal power. Then it starts to become a really fulfilling life.
She’s not the woman who walks into the room and sits in the back, thinking she’s okay because everybody else has their front seats.
She’s the woman who walks into the room and doesn’t have to be loud and boisterous because she has confidence. The room stops and pauses to look just at her essence, how she moves and carries herself. You can feel that she’s assured in the skin she’s in.
It’s not the look. It’s simply what resonates from the inside.
She’s not afraid to show her capacity and say yes to big things or no if it crosses her boundaries. And that’s what it means to be an embodied leader—having a balance between the feminine and masculine.
5 Pillars of Leadership
We’ve lived in a narrative that we can only do one thing well—Jen doesn’t think so.
Leadership is the pursuit of all things.
As she said, “How can I be a mom of four, have a healthy marriage, multiple businesses, a podcast, look after my health, be a daughter all at once? How can I be all of those things if I only get to do one thing well?”
Sometimes, we get ahead of ourselves and doubt our abilities before even trying. Impostor Syndrome kicks in. If you feel that, walk towards it. It means you’re doing something new.
Impostor Syndrome can present for 2 reasons:
- It might be that you’re just stretching because you’re a beginner. You’re acquiring a new skill, playing a new field. In that case, lean into it.
- It’s the pretending persona. You’re trying to be something you’re not.
These two are different energies, but both are information. They’re trying to tell us something. They’re directing us to become good leaders.
Jen shares 5 Pillars that you need to practice and nourish every day to become a good leader.
The leader that we need today is intentional. Everything they do is thought of and discerned. And they demonstrate what they teach.
True leaders say, “Follow me, I know and I’m clear about where we’re going.”
Leaders you see on social media and in the business industry have the same desires as you—love, fulfillment, and meaningful relationships. And just like you, they still have things they want to achieve. They still doubt, feel guilty, and wander.
They differ from you in skills and experiences.
And that’s the value of mentorship. We need continued investment and growth because, the thing is, we easily forget. We need people to remind us why we started. It’s the process of coming home and remembering who we are.
But don’t just be who you are. Be iconic. Be the most exceptional person through that.
Be an iconic stay-at-home mom.
Be an iconic entrepreneur.
Be an iconic career woman.